“The Way I Used to Be” is a powerful novel by Amber Smith that delves deep into the complexities of trauma, healing, and resilience. Through the lens of the protagonist, Eden, the book navigates the aftermath of a sexual assault and the long-lasting impact it has on her life. In this article, we will embark on a comprehensive exploration of the book, unpacking its themes, characters, and the profound messages it conveys.
The Narrative Arc:
“The Way I Used to Be” opens with the night of Eden’s assault, and the subsequent chapters are divided into four sections, each representing a year of her high school experience. This narrative structure allows readers to witness Eden’s transformation over the course of four tumultuous years, offering a nuanced perspective on the complexities of trauma recovery.
“The Way I Used to Be” Synopsis:
“The Way I Used to Be” by Amber Smith is a poignant and powerful young adult novel that delves into the aftermath of sexual assault. The story follows the life of Eden McCrorey, a high school student who carries a painful secret. At the age of 14, she was sexually assaulted by her brother’s best friend, and she has kept this traumatic event hidden from her family and friends.
The novel is divided into four parts, each representing a year of Eden’s high school experience. As the years pass, readers witness the profound impact of the assault on Eden’s life. She grapples with overwhelming feelings of guilt, shame, and isolation, leading her to distance herself from her loved ones. Her academic performance suffers, and she resorts to self-destructive behavior.
Throughout the narrative, Eden gradually begins to seek help and healing. She connects with a compassionate school counselor who becomes a vital source of support. As Eden starts to confront her past and come to terms with her trauma, she embarks on a courageous journey toward self-discovery and recovery.
“The Way I Used to Be” is a raw and emotional exploration of the enduring effects of sexual assault. It addresses important themes such as consent, resilience, and the complexities of a survivor’s emotional journey. Amber Smith’s novel sheds light on the significance of offering support and understanding to survivors of trauma, and it provides a window into the process of reclaiming one’s life after experiencing such a devastating event.
Themes Explored:
- Trauma and its Aftermath: “The Way I Used to Be” does not shy away from depicting the raw and painful aftermath of sexual assault. Eden’s emotional turmoil, struggles with trust, and feelings of isolation are portrayed with a striking authenticity.
- Silence and Communication: The novel brilliantly illustrates the difficulty survivors face when it comes to articulating their experiences. Eden’s silence is a powerful portrayal of the shame and fear often associated with discussing sexual assault.
- Growth and Resilience: Despite the profound pain she experiences, Eden’s journey is one of resilience and growth. As the years pass, readers witness her gradual but steady progress towards reclaiming her sense of self.
- Friendship and Support: The book highlights the importance of meaningful connections and support systems in the healing process. Eden’s relationships with her friends and family evolve throughout the story, offering glimpses of hope and solidarity.
- Identity and Self-Discovery: Eden’s struggle to find her identity in the wake of trauma is a central theme. The novel beautifully portrays her exploration of self, including her interests, ambitions, and relationships.
Character Development:
Amber Smith crafts multi-dimensional characters who contribute to the richness of the narrative:
- Eden: The protagonist’s internal journey is the heart of the novel. Her evolution from a silenced victim to a survivor who reclaims her agency is portrayed with sensitivity and depth.
- Jaz: Eden’s best friend provides a source of unwavering support and understanding, showcasing the power of true friendship in times of adversity.
- Kevin: The perpetrator of the assault, Kevin serves as a haunting presence throughout the story. His actions have a profound impact on Eden’s life, and the novel explores the complexities of coming to terms with such a traumatic event.
- Mara: Eden’s older brother, Mara, plays a significant role in her life. Their relationship undergoes its own transformation, illustrating the ripple effects of trauma on familial dynamics.
“The Way I Used to Be” is a poignant and thought-provoking exploration of the aftermath of sexual assault. Through Amber Smith’s powerful storytelling, readers are given an intimate look into Eden’s journey towards healing, resilience, and self-discovery. This novel is an important contribution to the conversation surrounding sexual assault and its impact on survivors, offering a message of hope, strength, and the possibility of reclaiming one’s own narrative.
